A Fluffy Llama

tastefullyoffensive: [via]

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 01:45:55 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

ITS TRANSPARENT PUT IT ON YOUR BLOGS OKAY, WILL DO MAGICAL...

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 03:26:00 -0400

ITS TRANSPARENT PUT IT ON YOUR BLOGS

OKAY, WILL DO MAGICAL COMMANDING VOICE FROM RANDOM BLOG

will-think-about-a-name-later: f3tchh: omg why new favourite...

Sat, 28 Jul 2012 19:02:56 -0400

will-think-about-a-name-later:

f3tchh:

omg why

new favourite meme!

Why couldn’t everyone at the olymic opening be as enthusiastic as the Queen??

forsakenless: sleepswithwolves: sinclairsnape: ruinedchildhood...

Sat, 28 Jul 2012 18:58:54 -0400

forsakenless:

sleepswithwolves:

sinclairsnape:

ruinedchildhood:

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate the fact that Pooh has just shoved the equivalent of his own internal organs back into his body like it was no big deal.

No bothers were given that day.

No bothers given.

No bothers.

not a single bother.

ellensama: Japanese man yodels with chicken techno in...

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 22:11:31 -0400

ellensama:

Japanese man yodels with chicken techno in the Alps.

What did I just watch?!

I’m not really sure why, but I felt like this video belonged on my blog.

The 11th gif in your folder is how you flirt.

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 00:56:56 -0400

Now you’re flirting with Maru?

A LLAMA WITH A SOMBREROTHE BEST.

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 23:12:10 -0400

A LLAMA WITH A SOMBRERO
THE BEST.

tastefullyoffensive: [via]

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 23:10:17 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

LinkPros: he can’t talk back to me he has an arsenal of...

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 14:09:06 -0400

Link

Pros:

he can’t talk back to me
he has an arsenal of weapons for getting rid of cockroaches and spiders who make their way into the house

Cons:

he has a million other suitors (Ruto, Saria, Midna, Zelda to name a few) and always winds up with Zelda regardless. So I can’t guaruntee he’ll spend much time with me if he’s always running off to save Zelda
I have to fight Ruto for him
He can’t jump unless he has Roc’s feather. What else can’t he do without powerups? :(

tastefullyoffensive: sesamestreet: I’d like two scoops of...

Sat, 14 Jul 2012 01:03:15 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

sesamestreet:

I’d like two scoops of chocolate and a scoop of pun-it butter.

xuza: Legend of Zelda Spiritual Stones Set GIVEAWAY!! Hey...

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 22:38:56 -0400

xuza:

Legend of Zelda Spiritual Stones Set GIVEAWAY!!

Hey everyone! In the excitement of finally having these finished, I’m doing a giveaway for a full set of these lovely resin-cast pendants! One lucky reblogger will have these three mailed to them - and you can have them as necklaces, as keychains, or without any mounting screws (decorative pieces)!

They’re available for sale at our Etsy Shop, as well!

RULES:

Reblog this to enter! But only once!

Likes/follows don’t count.

Giveaway ends Tuesday, July 31 at 7pm EST!

Winner will be announced/contacted by the following Friday

straightcougar: ferbulo: razeespeon: iheartchaos: How many...

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 21:55:50 -0400

straightcougar:

ferbulo:

razeespeon:

iheartchaos:

How many rubber bands can you put around the midsection of a watermelon before it explodes?

LET’S FIND OUT

thanks korea

I was at the edge of my seat just waiting for it to explode

holy fucking christ

And this is why we internet.

But who says cats =/= love? tastefullyoffensive: [via]

Sun, 08 Jul 2012 00:18:15 -0400

But who says cats =/= love?

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

sometimes when you search for “llama” on tumblr you...

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 17:27:32 -0400

sometimes when you search for “llama” on tumblr you get weird stuff

sometimes you get my blog

sometimes you get both.

All of my yes. radioyugoandtheprostitutesgarden: dmabster: I...

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 17:19:24 -0400

All of my yes.

radioyugoandtheprostitutesgarden:

dmabster:

I love him.

GOOD GOD

OREOS ARE GAY

BOW AND BOMBETTEBEST FEMALE VIDEOGAME CHARACTERS...

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 17:14:10 -0400

BOW AND BOMBETTE

BEST FEMALE VIDEOGAME CHARACTERS EVER

YUS

dishface:

Wow you can tell which days I crapped out on.

yaoibutts: shavingryansprivates: introducing… SPOONS! OH MY...

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 23:41:24 -0400

yaoibutts:

shavingryansprivates:

introducing… SPOONS!

OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO PISS MYSELF

I WANT ONE THIS MINUTE

lighthouseaccident: allonsysherloki: Prime example on why the...

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 23:42:38 -0400

lighthouseaccident:

allonsysherloki:

Prime example on why the Oxford comma (and commas in general) ARE FUCKING IMPORTANT OKAY

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD HELP

PUNCTUATION SAVES LIVES

Man I’m glad I found this site; I’ve been learning...

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 23:11:39 -0400

Man I’m glad I found this site; I’ve been learning so much today

demidevieevee: mycroftsangeleyes: futurefantastic: charmingsal...

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 00:33:13 -0400

demidevieevee:

mycroftsangeleyes:

futurefantastic:

charmingsalamander:

ellabiscuits:

too-midget-for-you:

mandimorphine:

bonersauruson:

paula266:

isayrather:

“The Egg” by Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

Will always reblog this. It’s probably my favorite thing in the universe.

What in the…oh God gracious from all heavens on earth Jesus Fuck of all things glorious. What is this mind blowing thing I’ve just read? This is beautiful, this is…this is…Fuck this, I’m not even trying to find a word that surely doesn’t even exist to describe this.

I love this story to death.

COOOOL

I find this truly fascinating, and I want to go off on a huge rant about how brilliantly interesting and philosophical it is, but I don’t have the time to write a million, billion words so I’ll just try for a paragraph.

The idea that we’re all one in the same is magnificent; it means there’s no difference between us. We are everyone and no-one at the same time. It’s a walking, talking, thinking, feeling paradox that keeps on building and building and it isn’t at all a problem because we don’t know we’re a paradox till we’re not.
The idea that the entirety of human history is akin to the development of a child in the womb is beautifully poignant. It doesn’t matter what you believe in because, in the beginning, we’re still developing and learning and growing as a person.
We’re learning, slowly but surely, that just because I know something doesn’t mean I can abuse it, that just because I see something doesn’t mean I can own it, that just because I want something doesn’t mean I can have it.

Cogito ergo sum - I think therefore I am.
Never has a philosophical statement been more accurate in my opinion than this right now. We think we are important therefore we are. We think we are many therefore we are. We think, we think, we think - but really it’s never been anything other than I.

WELL SHIT

I’m done trying to understand religion this is it right here right now right everything omg I’m done here.